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About Deviant Artist chrisUnited States Recent Activity
Deviant for 9 Years
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This poem will look like shit in a year and a half
I was alway a shitty poet
I knew it then. But
I ignored it.
Seemingly arbitrary breaks in
line and sentence
Vague accusations
You always were so easy to accuse.
Is this in the first or second person?
This isn't good.
This isn't smart.
Four years ago I expressed myself and thought I was wise.
Four years ago I wrote poetry and thought of myself as a sad misunderstood artistic soul.
Four years ago people encouraged that.
I still don't know if it was real or not.
I still don't know if I actually felt the way I said I did.
I still don't know if I made it up, cold and calculating, vying for others affections
or if each and every step I took was genuine.
I still don't know
I still don't know
I still don't know
I still don't know if my own memory has been lying to me.
Four years is a long time
        (for some).
:icongoldentriforce:GoldenTriforce 0 1
Majestic Waleed by GoldenTriforce Majestic Waleed :icongoldentriforce:GoldenTriforce 0 0
A Subtle Touch
That nameless forever
Empty thoughts and silent tears
Pushing you In.
You're more condensed than Campbell's Tomato.
Limitless volumes of books, magazines, and encyclopedias
pushed farther in
until you've reached the size of a marble.
I suppose I could go further;
push you down
to a speck of dust
to the size of an amoeba,
a molecule,
an atom,
You expect an explosion.
You're a dwarf star on the verge of black hole.
But just as the cruel hands of fate
play that sad,
sunken, sunken
and twisted, tune
                                  you find that the climax is past.
A quiet whisper pulls you out
like a ball of string.
You are a ribbon in the wind.
But you can move through it; it's only a gentle breeze.
The very air has rem
:icongoldentriforce:GoldenTriforce 0 1
It's so easy to forget.
To look to the past and think of things as shadows.
To remember not how you felt,
but the names for the things that you felt.
I remember now.
I remember the pain and anguish that I went through.
When I acted numb. Pretending to feel nothing when I saw you.
Eventually, that came true, and I don't regret wishing that upon myself.
It was a bandage for a wound. It helped.
I told you I would explain, and I still haven't.
Silly girl, you've gone and made assumptions.
You think I don't have feelings, and I probably thought the same of you half an hour ago.
I don't remember how I felt half an hour ago. I can only recall how I felt twenty nine minutes and fifty eight seconds ago.
I promise you that I will explain.
You gotta remember, this is only a moment, a second, in the grand scheme of things.
Everything turns out okay in the end.
I'd write more but I don't have the time.
I wish I did,
but my father wants to go to sleep, and his bedroom is right next to the com
:icongoldentriforce:GoldenTriforce 0 0
Crying hours ago
for reasons I can't explain,
I feel strangely calm now
and emotionless once again.
I hate feeling this way.
I don't know why I can't breathe right now,
or sleep in the normal patterns like I used to.
But now things are different. I was changed.
It's getting back into the groove,
that's all.
I just need
to forget
my troubles
and be with you.
:icongoldentriforce:GoldenTriforce 1 1
waiting for an answer haiku
Waiting for you to
come home and respond to me,
it is unnerving.
:icongoldentriforce:GoldenTriforce 0 2
What I Miss...
I miss grinning, ya know?
I miss being happy,
looking forward to something.
Being awake,
instead of this bizarre feeling of
I miss flying on the wings of an angel,
you know, when you smile so much your face hurts?
Instead of this ubiquidous weight.
Makes it hard to breath, ya know?
I miss walking to whatever boring place I was going,
a resisting the strongest urge to dance on the spot.
Like, if it weren't for the fact that you might look like an idiot,
You would totally do a backflip off the wall,
handstand your way to another world.
I wish those days would come back, you know?
If it weren't for those memories of happiness,
I might've never been able to get out of bed this morning.
But, I can cling.
And I can hope for those memories to come alive.
I miss those days.
Where I could run a million miles,
in the blink of an eye.
Where I could fly to the heavens,
and maybe steal a piece of the sky,
and not care if anyone noticed.
I miss knowing that tomorrow w
:icongoldentriforce:GoldenTriforce 2 7
Krabs by GoldenTriforce Krabs :icongoldentriforce:GoldenTriforce 1 1 Spongebob by GoldenTriforce Spongebob :icongoldentriforce:GoldenTriforce 2 6
fallen sunlight
A soft tear.
as resilient as
Fallen sunlight.
flowing and
Crawling to the surface
quietly sobbing next to the stereo.
hands reaching
To grasp nothing but
empty light.
with nothing to comfort,
a broken soul
Dying with
a sigh.
a soft tear,
Fallen sunlight.
:icongoldentriforce:GoldenTriforce 7 31
2. Love by GoldenTriforce 2. Love :icongoldentriforce:GoldenTriforce 1 25
Together Again
i am alone and broken.
                             She returns.
                                                              i look at her.
:icongoldentriforce:GoldenTriforce 1 16
sad flower by GoldenTriforce sad flower :icongoldentriforce:GoldenTriforce 0 12 soft flower by GoldenTriforce soft flower :icongoldentriforce:GoldenTriforce 0 14 Square-ish me by GoldenTriforce Square-ish me :icongoldentriforce:GoldenTriforce 0 6
Keeping IT in.
Tears steadily flow from my eyes.
Pooling at my feet.
Slowly, they seep back in.
Into my body.
Into my soul.
My body and soul are filled with sadness.
As the tears fill them up.
Continuing to push me to the edge.
As i am filled to the brim.
Until i am full.
Full of sadness,
Full of rejection,
Full of anger,
Full of hatred.
                                  i explode.
:icongoldentriforce:GoldenTriforce 0 10

Random Favourites

Every time I read those words I cry and cry
Because those are all things I have said to you
If they weren’t said they were felt
You were my good morning and goodnight
You were my hugs and kisses, my Xs and Os
You were my lover and my best friend
You were my late night phone calls
And my paragraph after paragraph long letters
You were the one to warm me up
And the one to calm me down
My shoulder to cry on
And my person to cuddle
You were the one that put those smiles on my face
And you were the one who kept me warm
You were the one who tried your hardest to see me
You were the one who cared the most
But now I don’t know what to do
I truly do miss you
But I have been replaced
She is the one you love
And it’s the worst feeling ever
To know that she calls you at night
She loves you and hugs you
She is yours and you are hers
She has taken my place
And I cant stand to hear about her
I hate reading her words
I hate knowing you love her
And I hate seeing her in your arms
When th
:iconborn2loveand2beloved:born2loveand2beloved 5 13
Digging a Hole
Digging beneath dappled shade,
And a chorus of applauding trees.
A sharp-spade chewing sound,
Metal hum like plucked wire.
Aching back, muddy smears,
And not a blister; just
A certain hardness of the skin,
Cracking like a gourd
Across the wrinkles of my thumb.
                “Why were you digging a hole?”
                She asked me, afterwards.
                “It felt” I answered,
                “Like the right thing to do
                At the time…”
Mulch smell, wet and bodily.
The hole opens, organic;
A ventricle, it gasps.
Fist-sized nuggets
:iconpaul-cooper:Paul-Cooper 81 94
The Night You Left
I forget everything you ever told me
The light dims and the night gets louder
Someone calls my name
And I laugh like it’s the funniest joke ever told
Someone calls my name
And I fall, shaking with the hilarity of it all
I lost my shoes the night you left me
Kicked them off when I started running
And Oh! They exclaim in dismay
She’s such a pretty mess of a life
And Oh! They exclaim in dismay
She’s such a tragic waste of time
There aint no use in crying
There aint no use in smiling
And maybe I’m not perfect
But damn it, I’m still trying
I forget everything but your name
Chanting it over and over again under my breath
Take my hand, I’m begging
Pleading for some security, some stability
Take my hand, I beg again
You just need to drink a little more to say you love me
I lost my way the night you left me
My head ached and my throat burned
I watched the world through vacant eyes
As they fussed over and talked about me
And I watched the world through vacant eyes
:iconlove-that-kid:love-that-kid 23 26
Listen to Me
Silently I look in your eyes
I ask myself over and over
why do I chase dreams
The ones I will never see
My dreams are draining happiness
I have ben fearing sleep
everynight I lie and cry
then I have the choice
over and over again
should I end this now
why not?
I don't see any point
to walk down that lonely street
you are not even hear
a word coming out of my mouth
so I guess I will
pull the trigger
and shut up
:iconheartlesswhispers:Heartlesswhispers 5 12
Oh Please. Love me.

Could I give you a kiss?
Things should start like this.
A chance like this..
A chance like this should never be missed.
Please just one kiss.
Drain my pain.
Clear my eyes.
and dry the rain.
Rolling down my cheeks.
I'm at the top.
I'm at my peak.
No more pain.
No more defeat.
With you by my side.
I can put everything aside.
Everything seems brighter.
It feels so much lighter.
Please. stay with me.
You make me feel whole.
I don't know think you know.
How much you mean to me.
How we should have been.
So please..
Wont you love me?
:iconaeonnezo:AeonNezo 6 22
You always felt
Like home
To me
I wish I still
Felt like home
To you
:iconintrinsica:Intrinsica 39 40
I'm not all that
You look at me, I look at you
A giggle escapes at your face of disbelieving,
At your face
That I wonder if it hides more then what you’ve said.
I look at you, you look at me
You say that I’m the most amazing
That I’m the most awesome
I disagree and mean it, if you knew me, you would too.
But you do know me, and I think I know you
So why is it that I am blind?
I want to not hurt,
I want to not kill
Another soul with my
Apparently ruthless skill
Of breaking hearts
Of wrecking havoc
With my “crazy awesomeness”
That I remind you, I do not possess.
I don’t like to choose
I don’t like to hurt
I don’t like to break
Anyone at all
I don’t want to do this
To anyone
And yet…
I’m put in this position,
I’m put in this place
By my friends who I love
And who love me for who they
“KNOW” I am
Get to REALLY know me
I’m not “all that”
I’m not who you think
Not at all
Why do I say this?
Why do so many like me?
I don&
:iconfirefolk:Firefolk 1 0
I walked a year last night
And wrote your name in the sand
And I couldn't help but smile when
the stars shone so bright
Reminding me of that dangerous glint
in your eye
It wasn't the first time I'd made
such a journey
But this time the shiver down my spine
wasn't from the cold
I was alone
Alone when you were so close
Yet set yourself so far
So I sit and watch the lights sparkle
in the faraway city
And try and guess which one belongs to you
And just like the waves will wash your
name from the sand
My tears will wash your kisses
from my cheeks
:iconlove-that-kid:love-that-kid 414 94
Music by DrBunsenHoneydew Music :icondrbunsenhoneydew:DrBunsenHoneydew 5,502 384
Impending Catastrophe
Let me laugh, don’t let me cry, you make me wish I’m not alive, please save me….from this impending catastrophe. I don’t believe you know who I am now you still think I’m a small girl…dancing and skipping around in mother’s clothes with lipstick smeared all over her face but
Let me laugh, don’t let me cry, you laugh and let me fall down into my own grave…just hug me like you used to I see you don’t care about my impending catastrophe...I need to be free!
I’m falling into a deep dark hole I wish that I could laugh instead of crying be alive instead of dying but I know now…
Your goal in life is not to let me be free to do what I want, but rather to keep yourself sustained and holding tightly on. To…me!
But, please.
Let me laugh let me laugh let me laugh again
Don’t let me cry don’t let me cry don’t make me cry like a little girl who fell down the stairs…
Keep me alive keep me alive save me from this cata
:iconfirefolk:Firefolk 1 2
Rules to Live by...?
1. Never stop thinking. This is important. If someone ever says to you 'You need to stop thinking so much,' call them ignorant in your head and keep thinking deeper. It is this mentality that breeds stupidity and sheeple. Your mind is the most important tool you have, if you stop using it, it will atrophy. Question everything.
2. Stare into space blankly and don't mentally punish yourself for doing it, even if it is for that split second. If you have a problem with staring blankly, think of it as daydreaming.
3. Root Beer sucks after having spicy food.
4. Everything is going to be just fine. If you worry about acne, you're going to get a fucking pimple.
5. Don't be afraid to talk about anything. You shouldn't be afraid of reality.
6. Everyone is a hypocrite.
7. You are all original. Every life experience is case sensitive and unique. Every time you wake up or go to the bathroom or quote someone else, you are becoming more you than anyone has ever been.
8. Do pointless things. Don't act
:icontickshady:tickshady 133 49
Philosophy of Instincts
"Do you ever think about your own instincts?" Orange asked.
Green turned to glare at Orange, his razor-sharp scythes glistening in the moonlight. "Oh yes. All the time, my friend."
Violet jumped up and down between the two, grinning at Orange. "Instincts are great! They tell me what's fun!"
Orange peered down at the book she was reading and glanced up at Violet. The purple rabbit peered into the book that the orange lioness was reading. Green stood behind the rabbit as he sized up Orange, wondering what she was thinking.
"What's on your mind, Ran?" Green asked, sitting across from her. He placed his arm blades on the table as he concentrated on Orange's expression.
The lioness looked at the green humanoid mantis. "I've been thinking lately about animal instincts. I've recently come up with an idea I've pulled together using three concepts."
"This sounds boring...I wanna play!" Violet bounced.
"Sit down, kid." Green told the hyper bunny. "You might learn something." He glanced at Orange
:iconvaperfox:Vaperfox 10 25



United States
Hi. My name's Chris.
I just want to be happy. I just want to find love.

deviantWEAR sizing preference: Small
Operating System: Mac
MP3 player of choice: iPod
  • Listening to: Maria Coma
I finally got the courage to come back to dA and actually LOG IN.
I was scared out of my mind because I knew what was waiting for me. I knew what I'd have to face if I so much as clicked on the messages tab.
And, in a sense, I was right. But I think I was able to handle it. Which is good.
I don't think that I'll be coming back again for a while though. I've simply learned that when I say I'll be back, that I don't always follow through on my word.
I guess I'm mostly leaving this journal, to let you know that I was here. Just this one time. I read everything.
If only I could explain. But I just can't.


Add a Comment:
x-TheBasicFlaw-x Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
:huggle: had a great time today!!! (saying this on dA cuz of my lack of cell phone minutes) :D
GoldenTriforce Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2009
Well I had a good time too :)
helping-the-unknown Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2009
Hi! :party: Your work appears in this news article: [link]
Firefolk Featured By Owner May 29, 2009
*quietly meows*
you were great at the senior concert.
you made me cry.
i still don't know what the hell to do about you.
i'm sorry i'm a heartbreaker.
i would rather i'm not and i never was
and that i still had you.
Firefolk Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2008
Come back.
i miss you.
Hello dear
I havent talked to you in a while, how have you been?
sweetnevermore Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2008
heyyyy!! Happy Birthday!!!! =D
GoldenTriforce Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2008
Thankyou very much!!!
sweetnevermore Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2008
you're welcome
psychol-bob Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2008
Thanks for reading and for the awesome comments! :D
Add a Comment: