you didn't feel the same
i hated you for it
i made you feel guilty
but you saw something good in me
despite my blatant animosity towards you
and you kept me around anyway
you were the first person i ever loved
so sure you were the end-all be-all
the fix to every one of my problems
but you had your own life to live
your own dreams that i disregarded
there's so much that i wish i had done differently
so much that i'm sorry for
i hope one day you can forgive me
and if not, then at least forget me
i never treated you well enough
you gave me your trust when i didn't deserve it
all i thought about was myself
about how you made me feel
and when i considered your feelings
it was to consider how those feelings affected me
i didn't support you when you needed it
we both suffered from similar mental illnesses
and when i wavered you held me up
but when you wavered, i crumbled to dust and let you fall
let you flicker in and out
watched you stumble
i was a teenage boy, can i really be blamed?
the answer is yes
i wonder if i could have been a fix for any of your problems
if i wasn't so selfish
i hope you can stand taller now than you did th
you treated me like trash, but i didn't notice
i thought you were interesting
when you stopped being interesting, i dropped you
you treated me like trash, i noticed
your ex boyfriend wouldn't stop calling you that night
sleeping with you was so much fun
i didn't want it to be ruined
he had done this before
he needed to stop being so attached to you
you told him that before
but here he was, calling
i told you to ignore him, he needed to grow out of this
and i was having so much fun, i didn't want it to be ruined
your ex boyfriend killed himself that night
while i was having fun
was it my fault?
i'd never been with another man before
you hadn't either, but
it seemed like you knew what you wanted
i wasn't so sure
you told me i was straight
that i was the only straight boy you'd ever had feelings for
i wish we had given it more of a chance
i had feelings for you too
This poem will look like shit in a year and a half by GoldenTriforce, literature
Literature
This poem will look like shit in a year and a half
I was alway a shitty poet
I knew it then. But
I ignored it.
Seemingly arbitrary breaks in
line and sentence
Vague accusations
You always were so easy to accuse.
Is this in the first or second person?
This isn't good.
This isn't smart.
Four years ago I expressed myself and thought I was wise.
Four years ago I wrote poetry and thought of myself as a sad misunderstood artistic soul.
Four years ago people encouraged that.
I still don't know if it was real or not.
I still don't know if I actually felt the way I said I did.
I still don't know if I made it up, cold and calculating, vying for others affections
or if each and every ste
That nameless forever
Empty thoughts and silent tears
Pushing you In.
Farther.
Farther.
You're more condensed than Campbell's Tomato.
Farther.
Limitless volumes of books, magazines, and encyclopedias
pushed farther in
until you've reached the size of a marble.
I suppose I could go further;
push you down
to a speck of dust
to the size of an amoeba,
a molecule,
an atom,
smaller.
You expect an explosion.
You're a dwarf star on the verge of black hole.
But just as the cruel hands of fate
play that sad,
sunken, sunken
and twisted, tune
you find that the climax is past.
It
is
over
you didn't feel the same
i hated you for it
i made you feel guilty
but you saw something good in me
despite my blatant animosity towards you
and you kept me around anyway
you were the first person i ever loved
so sure you were the end-all be-all
the fix to every one of my problems
but you had your own life to live
your own dreams that i disregarded
there's so much that i wish i had done differently
so much that i'm sorry for
i hope one day you can forgive me
and if not, then at least forget me
i never treated you well enough
you gave me your trust when i didn't deserve it
all i thought about was myself
about how you made me feel
and when i considered your feelings
it was to consider how those feelings affected me
i didn't support you when you needed it
we both suffered from similar mental illnesses
and when i wavered you held me up
but when you wavered, i crumbled to dust and let you fall
let you flicker in and out
watched you stumble
i was a teenage boy, can i really be blamed?
the answer is yes
i wonder if i could have been a fix for any of your problems
if i wasn't so selfish
i hope you can stand taller now than you did th
you treated me like trash, but i didn't notice
i thought you were interesting
when you stopped being interesting, i dropped you
you treated me like trash, i noticed
your ex boyfriend wouldn't stop calling you that night
sleeping with you was so much fun
i didn't want it to be ruined
he had done this before
he needed to stop being so attached to you
you told him that before
but here he was, calling
i told you to ignore him, he needed to grow out of this
and i was having so much fun, i didn't want it to be ruined
your ex boyfriend killed himself that night
while i was having fun
was it my fault?
i'd never been with another man before
you hadn't either, but
it seemed like you knew what you wanted
i wasn't so sure
you told me i was straight
that i was the only straight boy you'd ever had feelings for
i wish we had given it more of a chance
i had feelings for you too
This poem will look like shit in a year and a half by GoldenTriforce, literature
Literature
This poem will look like shit in a year and a half
I was alway a shitty poet
I knew it then. But
I ignored it.
Seemingly arbitrary breaks in
line and sentence
Vague accusations
You always were so easy to accuse.
Is this in the first or second person?
This isn't good.
This isn't smart.
Four years ago I expressed myself and thought I was wise.
Four years ago I wrote poetry and thought of myself as a sad misunderstood artistic soul.
Four years ago people encouraged that.
I still don't know if it was real or not.
I still don't know if I actually felt the way I said I did.
I still don't know if I made it up, cold and calculating, vying for others affections
or if each and every ste
That nameless forever
Empty thoughts and silent tears
Pushing you In.
Farther.
Farther.
You're more condensed than Campbell's Tomato.
Farther.
Limitless volumes of books, magazines, and encyclopedias
pushed farther in
until you've reached the size of a marble.
I suppose I could go further;
push you down
to a speck of dust
to the size of an amoeba,
a molecule,
an atom,
smaller.
You expect an explosion.
You're a dwarf star on the verge of black hole.
But just as the cruel hands of fate
play that sad,
sunken, sunken
and twisted, tune
you find that the climax is past.
It
is
over
Dirty Sheet with Words on Back by CatCatCatCat, literature
Literature
Dirty Sheet with Words on Back
It is the last day, in English class.
We talk,
we laugh,
we eat.
We are happy.
I am not.
Why?
Mind your own business.
Fine, Im happy enough.
Happy enough to talk,
to laugh,
and to eat-
but only for a while.
Then, leaving Danny and the rest of the English class
(taking chocolate first)
I cross to the other side of the classroom
where no one sits.
Desks are together in a clump,
like my fellow students.
In a pack, students are more likely to survive
if attacked by a hungry teacher.
So I become a desk.
I am in their pack,
sitting on them,
around them,
but not inside them because I am too large.
They dont eat
"Do you ever think about your own instincts?" Orange asked.
Green turned to glare at Orange, his razor-sharp scythes glistening in the moonlight. "Oh yes. All the time, my friend."
Violet jumped up and down between the two, grinning at Orange. "Instincts are great! They tell me what's fun!"
Orange peered down at the book she was reading and glanced up at Violet. The purple rabbit peered into the book that the orange lioness was reading. Green stood behind the rabbit as he sized up Orange, wondering what she was thinking.
"What's on your mind, Ran?" Green asked, sitting across from her. He placed his arm blades on the table as he concentra
1. Never stop thinking. This is important. If someone ever says to you 'You need to stop thinking so much,' call them ignorant in your head and keep thinking deeper. It is this mentality that breeds stupidity and sheeple. Your mind is the most important tool you have, if you stop using it, it will atrophy. Question everything.
2. Stare into space blankly and don't mentally punish yourself for doing it, even if it is for that split second. If you have a problem with staring blankly, think of it as daydreaming.
3. Root Beer sucks after having spicy food.
4. Everything is going to be just fine. If you worry about acne, you're going to get a f
Let me laugh, dont let me cry, you make me wish Im not alive, please save me .from this impending catastrophe. I dont believe you know who I am now you still think Im a small girl dancing and skipping around in mothers clothes with lipstick smeared all over her face but
Let me laugh, dont let me cry, you laugh and let me fall down into my own grave just hug me like you used to I see you dont care about my impending catastrophe...I need to be free!
Im falling into a deep dark hole I wish that I could laugh instead of crying be alive instead of dying but I know now
Your go
I walked a year last night
And wrote your name in the sand
And I couldn't help but smile when
the stars shone so bright
Reminding me of that dangerous glint
in your eye
It wasn't the first time I'd made
such a journey
But this time the shiver down my spine
wasn't from the cold
I was alone
Alone when you were so close
Yet set yourself so far
So I sit and watch the lights sparkle
in the faraway city
And try and guess which one belongs to you
And just like the waves will wash your
name from the sand
My tears will wash your kisses
from my cheeks
You look at me, I look at you
A giggle escapes at your face of disbelieving,
At your face
That I wonder if it hides more then what youve said.
I look at you, you look at me
You say that Im the most amazing
That Im the most awesome
I disagree and mean it, if you knew me, you would too.
But you do know me, and I think I know you
So why is it that I am blind?
I want to not hurt,
I want to not kill
Another soul with my
Apparently ruthless skill
Of breaking hearts
Of wrecking havoc
With my crazy awesomeness
That I remind you, I do not possess.
I dont like to choose
I dont like to hurt
I finally got the courage to come back to dA and actually LOG IN.
I was scared out of my mind because I knew what was waiting for me. I knew what I'd have to face if I so much as clicked on the messages tab.
And, in a sense, I was right. But I think I was able to handle it. Which is good.
I don't think that I'll be coming back again for a while though. I've simply learned that when I say I'll be back, that I don't always follow through on my word.
I guess I'm mostly leaving this journal, to let you know that I was here. Just this one time. I read everything.
If only I could explain. But I just can't.
*quietly meows* you were great at the senior concert. you made me cry. i still don't know what the hell to do about you. i'm sorry i'm a heartbreaker. i would rather i'm not and i never was and that i still had you.